OK, let's start with the Conservative successes. There weren't any local elections in Birmingham yesterday, except for a by-election in Lozells and East Handsworth. Not exactly fertile Tory territory you might think.
Well actually, we polled 1,622 votes and went from 4% of the vote last year to 23% this year. This is a huge swing and proof in itself that people everywhere are turning to the Conservatives.
Now lets look at the national picture - the graphic below shows the current state of play (thanks BBC):
Bearing in mind that we've had several successful years on the trot already, this is a brilliant result for us. Closest to home, we're now in control of Staffordshire and Derbyshire, which Labour had controlled since (wait for it!) 1981. We've also taken Devon and Somerset from the Lib Dems - we're winning everywhere.
If you look at a projected share of the national vote, we're comfortably ahead with Labour now in third place.
In other news, I've been trying to keep track of what's been happening at No 10 today, but in all honesty there's just too much madness going on to know where to start.
Apparently Sir Alan Sugar's going to become a lord and made some kind of enterprise or business tsar. This is the guy who, in last year's series of The Apprentice, awarded the job to someone who admitted lying on his CV. Hardly inspiring stuff.
And then we have Caroline Flint's final salvo as she returns to a life on the backbenches, 'Several of the women attending Cabinet - myself included - have been treated by you as little more than female window dressing.' She also points out that although she was Europe minister until today (a position that's been taken over by Glenys Kinnock?!?), she wasn't even invited to the Cabinet meeting preceeding yesterday's European elections!
Gordon Brown has transformed No 10, that venerable and internationally respected British symbol of good governance, and home to generation after generation of statesmen, into his own version of the Big Brother House. But he can't hold on forever. We will all have our say before much longer.
I look forward to the day when David Cameron and his team start restoring dignity and common sense as the next Conservative government.