In a bold attempt to revive the government's flagging popularity, Downing Street announced a new scrappage scheme today. People will be able to trade in their old government for a new one and get a reduction in government spending.
Prime-Minister-By-Default Gordon Brown welcomed the news. 'If the focus groups are anything to go by, I'm sure that this will be the post popular policy we've ever announced. Millions of people up and down the country will benefit from scrapping their government, and it will also give a much-needed boost to our beleagured manufacturing base.'
Chancellor-In-Name-Only Alistair Darling added, 'Gordon sent me a text about this, and I'm fully behind that text. I'm already looking forward to my date with the crusher.'